The 8 Ball

Last month, I took up semi-permanent residence behind the 8-ball. May and June are jam packed months in both the world of academics (with the end of the semester and graduation) and for fundraisers (as the end of the fiscal year approaches for many on June 30th). Since I am part of both worlds the reality that these months are chaos incarnate is inescapable.

Yet, in the midst of all 100 deadlines falling on the same day and being pulled in a million directions – I volunteered to help a couple of friends out with things they had going on in their lives – which ended up putting me even more behind schedule. When my ability to keep up was called to question it was pointed out that I might be doing too much.

There is one friend of mine who is famous for asking me if I’m doing too much. Over the years she has been a valuable resources and a guide along my professional path. Lately, many of our career – based discussions end with some reference to my taking on too much.

So here I am, aware of my busy schedule and seeking balance.

The irony here is that I often encourage hyper-involved college students to not be afraid to step back. Yet when it comes down to it I’m only marginally better at saying “no” than I was as a hyper-involved college students no so many years ago. But I know myself well enough to realize that there are reasons for this constant immersion.

= I believe that people don’t help each other enough anymore.
=Nurture – anyone who’s grown up with a big family knows that no matter your place in the rank and file you are expected to pitch in and help. When things need to be done it doesn’t matter whose project it is everyone settles in and lends a hand.
=Nature – Whether it is inspired by the reasons above or not, I come from a long line of servant leaders. Both of my parents are active in our lives, the lives of our extended family, our church community, etc. My grandparents were the same way and on and on. Helping people out is part of who we are.

I’m predisposed to help people out. I make absolutely no apologies for that habit, and am fiercely proud that service is such a part of the fabric of my family and upbringing. That said, like with all things there must be balance.

Is it really ‘service’ if helping people is fueled by guilt or compulsion?

No, probably not.

Is service pure and valuable if it is fueled by pride and ego?

I don’t think so.

In the final analysis it comes back to balance.

To be generous is good…to put your family in the poorhouse to help others is irresponsible.

To be a servant is good…to allow yourself to be exploited and abused is often times ill-advised.

To be other focused is good…to use that focus to avoid your own problems is unhealthy.

I guess it boils down to a notion that it’s not enough to simply think or say or do. There must be balance between action, motivation, impact, and meaning.