Wisdom: It Might be Closer than You Think

This past weekend was the annual Brown-McKeigue Family Reunion (mom’s side). Each year the group dynamic changes with a few new faces due to births, marriages, significant others,’ etc. and a few absent ones as a result of death, illness, and those who live too far/or work too much to make the trip. This year was no different with plenty of cousins bringing new spouses and children into the fold and too few of the older generations able to make the picnic. All in all, however, we gathered and over a great picnic spread and various water balloon fights were able to reconnect.

I’m also reading Lee Iococa’s book Where Have All the Leaders Gone?, which has provided ample fodder for reflection. In our youth we go off in search of leadership and teachers, often only to return to our roots to recognize and acknowledge our real teachers. It’s pretty clear that we have many teachers throughout our lives, and they all serve in different capacities. Sometimes you get Mr. Miayagi and sometimes you get the R. Lee Ermy (the Drill Instructor) from Full Metal Jacket. Either way we learn something.

James Alexander McKeigue was one of my great teachers. Even though his passing happened early in my life, the lessons that he (and his siblings) imparted on younger generations are timeless. They were taught to my parents, to my brothers and sisters and cousins, and I plan to make sure they are taught to our children.

Uncle Jim’s Reflections: How to Get More Out of Life

1. Keep your priorities.

2. Get a good wife.

3. Get enough education to get a job you enjoy.

4. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated.

5. Save your money, then invest it.

6. Live your own life, not someone else’s.

7. Tell those you love that you do.

8. Mind your own business.

9. Count your blessings…often.

10. True friends are few, keep in touch with them.

11. Keep your sense of humor.

Raymond John Schafer, had a similar set of guidelines that he imparted to his son’s and daughters. Though a shorter list, the fundamentals are the same. Grandpa’s three guiding principles were as follows:

1. Be a good husband (spouse)

2. Be a good father (parent)

3. Be a good Catholic (be a person of faith and conscious)

I guess after all the cost of my formal education, travels across North America, and numerous retreats and spiritual advisors – my greatest lessons were learned at home and cost nothing except the time to listen.

Accepting Hoss Cartwright

I always wanted to be a cowboy. Rooster Cogburn, John McClintock (both John Wayne), Josie Whales, and the Preacher (both Clint Eastwood) lived by a code. They were tough, honest, carried a gun, rode horses, had dogs, protected the innocent, and usually ended up with the cute school teacher, preacher or farmer's daughter. What little boy wouldn't like that? Come to think of it I can't imagine many grown men how would turn up their nose at that life.

It's the American Dream. But life had other plans in store for me, and I am not a cowboy. I don't rope or ride or carry a six shooter. But the cowboys of the silver screen are still some of my favorite heroes.

Last year for Christmas my buddy Greg sent me a copy of Cowboy Values by James P. Owen. It's a great book. I was thinking about that book the other day and it dawned on me that I am not John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, or any of the formidable men whom they portrayed. In the spectrum of Cowboys I'm probably more of a Hoss Cartwright. At first that thought bothered me a little bit. Hoss was a supporting character with a goofy hat. He never really end up with the respect that some of the other Cartwrights enjoyed.

But then it dawned on me that Hoss might have been the best of cowboys. He lived by a code of honor. He seemed to enjoy life, love his family, and treat people with respect. Don't get me wrong, if someone was messing with Pa, Joe, or Hop Sing Old Hoss could be mean in a fight. But he was more likely to beat the snot out of you, then help you up and buy you a beer.

That's the kind of cowboy I'd be. Like Hoss. Maybe not as tough and scary as the Duke, but that's ok. It takes all kinds of cowboys to make up the Wild West.