My Brand of Crazy

We are all nuts. I mean certifiably crazy at times. This is an inescapable reality of the human experience. While there are degrees of crazy, most of us are just highly functional nut-jobs.

Let’s exclude those who are a danger to themselves and others - manic or psychotic criminals, those who suffer from serious mental ailments, Sarah Palin, etc. I don’t wish to make light of serious ailments that people have not control over.

BUT…

Think about your friends, your family, even the events of your own day and it won’t take you long to realize that we are all a little insane. We justify this, but deep down we all feel a bit out of control at times.

First, what is normal?
Second, who says that’s normal? MTV? Hollywood? The Church? Our parents? School? Some pointy headed professor who probably has been divorced five or six times and is not on speaking terms with his children? Get the point?

Human beings are communal animals, and we can help each other, but it’s not because some of us have our shit together and some don’t. At best we hope to stagger the crazy. If I am ok / with it / in control 60% of the time, you are ok 65% of the time, and someone else is ok 55% of the time then chances are good that someone will be strong while the others are struggling. This results in compromise and the birth of a give-and-take relationship.

Booyah!

Life is messy, especially when it deals with people.

Oh, sh*t.

We’re people.

That could get messy.

I guess we’re going to have to learn to deal with it.

Just remember that it is out of the mess of life and relationships that some genuine good moments and blessings arise. The character Mimi from the musical Rent neatly captures this sentiment when she say, “Life’s too short babe, time is a flyin’, I’m looking for baggage that goes with mine.” I love this sentiment.

Welcome to my brand of crazy.

Tolerence: Religious Ideal or Hippie Mantra

In my experience, those who speak out about great pitfalls of organized religion are often sucked into mindsets of intolerance of which they accuse religions to possess.

It is no great secret that many unjust acts (war, discrimination, torture, persecution, execution, etc.) have been carried out in the name of religion. Christianity, Islam, Jeudism, and many other organized religous groups have all been misused and misinterpreted at times to justify the weak, selfish, and corrupt acts of religious zealots.

But we, who are here and now, are shouldered not only with the burdens of the past, but the decisions of the present which will impact the future. Religion is not going to go away--at least not in our lifetime.

Should there be religious tolerance? Yes. But there should be tolerance for religion too.

I witnessed an interaction with college aged students (18-24 year) not all that long ago that illustrates this point. The group was having a discussion and a young man jokingly called a local politician a, “pink-o commie bas*ard.” Two young women in the group, abruptly turned on the author of the comment and vehemently defended the tenets of Marxism, preaching tolerance and acceptance of people, and ending with an assertion to the effect of, ‘if there was more communism in the world it would be a much more tolerant place.’ The young man was stunned to silence due to the vigor of the outburst and the conversation returned to more neutral topics.

Not an hour later the two women who launched the pro-tolerance sermon, engaged in a rather unfair and lengthy roast of Christianity and all Christians. The excessive criticism expressed by these young women caused many in the group to take pause at the severity. The discussion ended in one of the young women performing a very off color impression of someone with downs syndrome.

I find this situation, while extreme, to illustrate the growing mentality slated toward a fundamental call to tolerance – with a stark exception of tolerance toward Christianity and those who adhere to the more ‘traditional’ Christian worldviews. As illustrated by this situation, the young women felt very strongly about tolerance for non-Christian religious groups, any ethnic and racial groups (other than European Caucasians), and anyone who seeks a spiritual existence outside of religion – but somehow considered Christians an exception to the tolerance rule.

The reality is that not all Christians are redneck bigots, any more than all Muslims are terrorists, any more than all rappers are dangerous gangsters, any more than all democrats are hippies, any more than …

Do you see my point?

Tolerance goes both ways.

For those who want to practice a more spiritual existence outside of religion, more power to them. Not my choice, but I support their right of free expression. One of this country’s greatest founding principles is religious freedom. But to criticize and ostracize those who adhere to traditional Christianity, or Judaism, or the tenants of Islam just because they practice a religion is to be equally as judgmental and intolerant.

Young people who adhere to the more traditional religions are increasingly being made to feel as though they should be on the defensive. Is this justice?

There are those who will, of course, throw in my face a litany of atrocities committed in the name of religion. Admittedly, there are many. But upon deeper reflection and study, I would wager a guess that the abuses of power that happen under the banner of religion are still products of human weakness. And let us all remember that there are very, very few large human organizations that don’t have dark moments in their history.

The reality is that most traditional world religions at their core preach peace, justice, compassion, reconciliation, and tolerance.

And these, we can call agree upon are some of the fundamental tenants of a just society.

The Cell Phone Disconnect

A couple of nights ago I got a call from a friends’ mom. She was trying very hard to be calm, but very nervously blurted out that she had not heard from her daughter for several days. My friend moved to Chicago a few months ago, far from her family and home, and so when no one from home had heard from her in several days they naturally became worried. It turns out my friend is fine – and simply forgot her phone charger at work resulting in a dead battery.

No harm, no foul. Right?

I’m not so sure.

Consider this, we have become a society of instant gratification and instant communication. There are computers in our homes, at our offices, in our backpacks, in our cars, on our belt, you name it.

We have…
o Nextel Direct Connect instant communication, making cell phones as instant as walkie talkies and 500 times as powerful.
o Bluetooth – because picking up your phone is sometimes just not possible.
o Laptops
o i-Phones – Bringing entertainment and communication together
o i-Pod Touch – the music player that connects to the internet.
· Skype
· Garman GPS Personal Navigation System

I hope you can see where I’m going with this. Instant communication is a multi-billion dollar business.

When that communication breaks down, however…look out.
Instant communication on one hand offers a sense of reassurance and comfort. If a parent knows that they can instantly communicate with a child, then it is easier to let that child travel and spend time away from the parent.

But I wonder if instant communication has triggered other subconscious elements of our worldview, beyond safety and security. If a parent can be in immediate communication with a child, or track the child’s GPS location through their phone, is the child really free? Can a child experience a true freedom to find the self if Mom, Dad, and an entire support system are only one speed dial setting away?

For those of us who grew up without cell phones help was not always right at our finger tips. We had to learn to be independent, just as our parents had to learn to let us go. These are difficult lessons for both children and parents, but at their core they are lessons in faith.

Parents must have faith in the way that they raised their children, as well as discover faith in the children themselves. Children, by comparison, must learn to have faith in their own judgment and independence.

And we all (no matter our role) must have faith in God.

As human beings we seem to think that there is a patter or format which can be mastered in order to achieve a ‘successful life.’ No matter what you call it – nirvana, heaven, enlightenment, self awareness, the secret of everlasting life, etc. – every culture seeks the same end. And as man plans, God laughs.

We can arm our kids with cell phones, safety courses, self-defense classes, but at the end of the day they have got to be allowed to go out and live life. Life is messy, and as Mr. Miyagi said in The Karate Kid, “Somebody else’s Karate always better.” Bad things might happen to good people – so should good people not interact with anyone out of this fear. NO!
The things that we hear about in the news and see at the movies may happen from time to time. But for every bad thing that is covered over and over again in the news there are thirty good things that don’t get coverage.

We should be cautious and encourage people to be safe, but not at the expense of living life. Our cell phones are a great tool, but for all of their ability to empower connections to our family and friends – they might be facilitating the disconnect between people and their ability to grow.

I am not Chuck Norris...

I am sad to break the news to you, but I am not Chuck Norris. My beard is not as red, my roundhouse is not as devastating, and I can’t pull off the Texas Ranger cowboy hat and denim shirt. In fact I don’t even know karate or anyone on Delta Force, and the only time the Boogie man would be afraid to find me is if he’s hording Guinness.

In the Denzel Washington thriller, The Bone Collector, a maniac serial killer kidnaps no fewer than five people in order to exact his revenge on Lincoln Reimes (Washington) who was instrumental in the killers’ incarceration six years prior. As I watched each victims abduction I arrogantly mused that it would take, “a lot more than that to kidnap me.” I mean, I consider myself pretty smart and reasonably tough. But then I wondered how much of that is reality and how much is self image and construction of the mind?

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones in their 1993 album “Let’s Face It,” have captured the essence of my deliberation in the song, “The Impression that I Get.”

I'm not a coward, I've just never been tested.I'd like to think that if I was I would pass.Look at the tested, and think there but for the grace go I.Might be a coward, I'm afraid of what I might find out.

This, in essence, is the crux of my reflection.

I have seen nearly every classic action movie from 1986 to present, and somewhere in the back of my head I’ve decided (completely irrationally) that I’m as tough as Chuck Norris, Lawrence Fishburn, Sylvester Stallone, Samuel L. Jackson, or Jet Li.

What? Reality check.

Watching Mr. Miyagi teach Daniel karate does not mean I know Karate any more than reading about climbing Mt. Everest means I’ve stood atop the world’s greatest wonder.

What is it that drives people to want to prove their toughness? Whether to themselves or others – we all want to be respected for our prowess in some area of our life. Whether you are an academic who seeks mental toughness; a parent who wishes to protect their child; a soldier whose toughness means life or death; or simply a one who wishes to be able to protect the ones you love – we all want to be tough.

This desire to be tough – at least in my experience – seems to stem from a fear of loss. We want to be tough enough to protect the things that we love. The investor wishes to protect their assets to provide financial security; the soldier struggles to protect the family and country that they leave behind when deployed to foreign soil; the firefighter protects homes because they would want someone to try and save their home if the role were reversed. Our toughness, it might be said, is rooted in love.

There is an old story about a guy who I think is tougher than all of the heroes of the Greeks, Romans, or any other civilization ancient or contemporary. He was not a warrior, but a teacher. He was not a street fighter, tactician, or spy. As far as anyone knows, He never delivered one angry blow. In His life, however, He suffered unjust humiliation, torture, and execution. He did all of this to prove a point. This skinny Jewish carpenter who wielded more power

than any other human being before or since – chose to teach us about toughness rooted in love. Through His life and death He taught us how to live. And He did it all, so as not to loose us, the ones he loves.

Even Chuck Norris would say that’s tough.

In a Facebook Minute

In a Facebook minute…oooEEEooo…your friends’ status can change.
In a Facebook minute…oooEEEooo…things can get pretty strange.

Besides being lovingly ripped off from the musical genius of Mr. Don Henley and The Eagles, these lines sum up some of my general thoughts about the pervasive nature of Facebook.

Like nearly every 16 to 30-year-old with computer access I am a mild Facebook addict. When I log on to the internet I open 3 pages in my web browser – Pandora.com, hotmail.com, and Facebook.com – to get music going, quickly check e-mails, and status updates before settling into any other task. Total average time to log-on, peruse e-mails & status updates, and move on: 4.2 minutes. Over the past two years this has become so ingrained in my routine that it has become and habit. And this happens at least six times a day.

Here’s an interesting experiment, change your status or profile to include something ridiculous and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

I have gone weeks without so much as a ‘Facebook poke,’ but if my status update is catchy, alarming, or dramatic in any way my wall is flooded with comments, reassurances that my friends ‘like this,’ and the like. So while I have not heard from my friends for weeks at a time, I know that they are keeping tabs on me, or to borrow the popular term, they are Facebook stalking.

But this is what we have come to. As Americans we cram as much into our waking hours as we possibly can, often at the expense of our own mental down time. Rather than call a friend in the evening to catch-up, we’d rather cruise their blog, facebook status, or twitter and check in on them. It’s faster, quicker, and an interaction on our terms. If a friend sends out a Facebook distress call, we can answer. But if we are already busy and there is no immediate emergency we can go on about our business confident in the knowledge that we’re a good friend because we know what’s going on.

I am just as guilty of this as anyone else, so how do we stop it? The simplest answer is to just make time to actually reach out to people. Call your friend on the phone, arrange to meet up for dinner, or to watch a minor league baseball game, do something, don’t just think about doing something.

The irony of posting this online has not been lost on me. I enjoy Facebook, and reading my friends blogs. I understand that faced with the option of not keeping in touch or keeping in e-touch – Facebook is great. But social networking and electronic communication cannot completely replace actual real human interaction, because when it does we are all in for a rude awakening.

So, you keep writing and reading, and I’ll keep writing and reading – then maybe once in awhile we can call or meet up.

Later.

The Real CMA - Country Music Anonymous

Bless me Father, for I have sinned... I listen to country music.

The first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem. I have a problem. I listen to country music. This is difficult for me to admit because until recently I have never cared for country music. In fact, until about two years ago, I actively mocked anyone who liked country.

Growing up, music was very important to our family. My parents both listened to a variety of music from classic rock to James Taylor; the Beach Boys to classical; BB King to the Irish Rovers and everything in between. Everything, that is, except country. We called country, “deet-deet” music, because we had absolutely no use for it. Catchy lyrics like, “I lost my dawg, mah truck broke down, m’girlfriend runned away… deet… deet… deet…” sum up my entire understanding of country during the first 21 years of my life.

But, even then I made exceptions to the rule with Southern Rock. Lynard Skynard, Charlie Daniels, and certain jams by Mr. Hank Williams, Jr. were acceptable forms of music because I felt that they were more rock n roll that country. In 2003 I moved to Charleston, South Carolina and found myself steeped an eclectic musical setting where blues, bluegrass, country, rock, and punk all blended together. I liked it.

Then I met Katie. Katie loves music, but is a particular fan of country and the more time I spent with her, the more country music I listened to. And while it was because of Katie that I happened to be around country music – I have actually learned to like some of the artists quite a bit. Brad Paisley, Hank Williams, Jr., Billy Currington, The Zac Brown Band… are all great song writers with a good sound – influenced by rock, country, blues, jazz, reggae, etc.

(I still think that older country from the 70s, 80s, and 90s is twangy and not for me, but the more contemporary stuff is good.)

So here I am. I like country music. And I’m not ashamed anymore. Pre-set button #5 in my car is set to a country station; I have four country radio stations saved on Pandora.com; and last week I purchased my first country music CD (Zac Brown Band’s “Foundation”).

My name is Nick, and I like country music.