"You're My Guys..."

I’ve been thinking about teams a lot in the past couple of weeks. My new job means a new team is forming. We are all from different departments or entirely new organizations, so we are all learning. I’m also reading a books, both fiction and non-fiction that center on the idea of teams.

Teams are important.

At the end of the day you can have a group or a team. Groups are loose and transient collectives of people who occupy the same airspace for a given amount of time.

But a team.

A real team endures.

It’s not easy to be on a team. Teams are made up of people, and people are a messy business. Teams must be formed, then they storm, then settle into a pattern of normalcy, then they storm gain, and somewhere along the way they perform.

Forming, storming, norming, performing, rinse and repeat. This is the life cycle of a team, but in the quiet moments (and the chaotic moments) respect grows, honesty emerges, and if you are lucky loyalty takes root.

I’ve been lucky to be part of many teams, and for that I am grateful. By way of example I served with AmeriCorps*NCCC Team Silver 1 for 10 months. We were a group of strangers randomly selected and thrown together in August 2003 and by June 2004 a family had formed. Sure we had our fair share of difficult times with hammers dropped on heads, fights over the music, minor and major personality conflicts, you name it. But there was also a trust that can only develop when we share a life with 10 other people all day, every day for a year. We parted company nearly 7 years ago, but they are still my team. I think about them every single day. Their picture sits on my desk right next to my brothers and sisters, next to pictures of my wife, and friends from childhood, college and beyond. They are still my team.

Right now, at work, our team is forming. Some have been with the company for a while, others are new, but in the end we have to work together to accomplish some daunting tasks.

Today, a co-worker shared a great quote with me that summed things up quite nicely.

CONTEXT: From the show “The West Wing.” Delivered by Toby to a group of staffers after a comment in a meeting leaked to the Press.

“We're a group…we're a team...We win together, we lose together, we celebrate and we mourn together. And defeats are softened and victories sweetened because we did them together...And if you don't like this team... then, there's the door... It's great to be in the know. It's great to have the scoop, to have the skinny, to be able to go to a reporter and say, "I know something you don't know." And so the press becomes your constituents and you sell out the team... So, an item will appear in the paper tomorrow, and it'll be embarrassing to me and embarrassing to the President. I'm not gonna have a witch hunt. I'm not gonna huff and puff. I'm not gonna take anyone's head off. I'm simply gonna say this: you're my guys. And I'm yours... and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

That's it. At the end of the day a good team always has your back. In that way a good team is a lot like family.

Change is Hard

Two months ago Katie and I, with the help of some amazing friends and family, relocated all of our worldly possessions from one side of the state to another.   New jobs and opportunities to be closer to family pried us away from SJC and our friends in Rensselaer.  A lot has changed since our move and times of change are often provide a good opportunity to reflect.  

Round 2 at SJC has been as every bit as educational and thought provoking as my first time in residence with the Pumas.  My friends, both old and new, renewed my faith in the good nature of people, and this time I was fortunate enough to share this with my wife…my best friend…chief advisor and hero.   

At SJC Katie learned to share my love of Puma-culture, she was able to be a part of a Kairos team, we made new friendships and strengthened old ones, and started to build our life together under the shadow of the twin towers.  Life was good. 

But change is a part of life.  

One of the things that I learned at SJC is that we must be true to ourselves and aware of what our minds and hearts tell us.  After four years on staff, it was time for me to move on again.  I was ready.  SJC was ready.  We just didn’t realize it until the change was happening.  When the opportunity to move to South Bend and serve Public Library opened up I knew that this was the right move for me.  I don’t know how I knew it, but some part of me knew that this was the right step. 

When I announced my plans to leave I was burdened with an odd mix of emotions ranging from excitement to guilt.  The guilt nagged at me.  Not because I really felt guilty, but because I was wondering why I felt guilt.  My departure was not wrong, but I felt compelled to play the part of the loyalist dragging my feet and grumbling about not really wanting to go.  In reality, I was simply conflicted.  Both feelings of excitement for new opportunities and regret at having to leave friends were both valid.

Do I miss my friends, Yes.  (every day)

Do I feel guilty for leaving, No. 

Change is hard.  Life is difficult, but does that make a new adventure less desirable? I don’t think so.  My last two months at the Library have been some of the most challenging and yet professionally rewarding that I have known.  It's been difficult, but I don't regret the move.  Paulo Coelho reminds us that our choices are “… real and true precisely because [they are] difficult.”

SJC is above all things, a school.  No school wants it’s students to remain stagnant.   The goal is to spend time in study and then move into a new role or level of awareness.  We celebrate that transition each Spring when students go forth and commence life. 

So I guess this was my second commencement from SJC. 

And it was another wild ride.

Wisdom: It Might be Closer than You Think

This past weekend was the annual Brown-McKeigue Family Reunion (mom’s side). Each year the group dynamic changes with a few new faces due to births, marriages, significant others,’ etc. and a few absent ones as a result of death, illness, and those who live too far/or work too much to make the trip. This year was no different with plenty of cousins bringing new spouses and children into the fold and too few of the older generations able to make the picnic. All in all, however, we gathered and over a great picnic spread and various water balloon fights were able to reconnect.

I’m also reading Lee Iococa’s book Where Have All the Leaders Gone?, which has provided ample fodder for reflection. In our youth we go off in search of leadership and teachers, often only to return to our roots to recognize and acknowledge our real teachers. It’s pretty clear that we have many teachers throughout our lives, and they all serve in different capacities. Sometimes you get Mr. Miayagi and sometimes you get the R. Lee Ermy (the Drill Instructor) from Full Metal Jacket. Either way we learn something.

James Alexander McKeigue was one of my great teachers. Even though his passing happened early in my life, the lessons that he (and his siblings) imparted on younger generations are timeless. They were taught to my parents, to my brothers and sisters and cousins, and I plan to make sure they are taught to our children.

Uncle Jim’s Reflections: How to Get More Out of Life

1. Keep your priorities.

2. Get a good wife.

3. Get enough education to get a job you enjoy.

4. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated.

5. Save your money, then invest it.

6. Live your own life, not someone else’s.

7. Tell those you love that you do.

8. Mind your own business.

9. Count your blessings…often.

10. True friends are few, keep in touch with them.

11. Keep your sense of humor.

Raymond John Schafer, had a similar set of guidelines that he imparted to his son’s and daughters. Though a shorter list, the fundamentals are the same. Grandpa’s three guiding principles were as follows:

1. Be a good husband (spouse)

2. Be a good father (parent)

3. Be a good Catholic (be a person of faith and conscious)

I guess after all the cost of my formal education, travels across North America, and numerous retreats and spiritual advisors – my greatest lessons were learned at home and cost nothing except the time to listen.

Accepting Hoss Cartwright

I always wanted to be a cowboy. Rooster Cogburn, John McClintock (both John Wayne), Josie Whales, and the Preacher (both Clint Eastwood) lived by a code. They were tough, honest, carried a gun, rode horses, had dogs, protected the innocent, and usually ended up with the cute school teacher, preacher or farmer's daughter. What little boy wouldn't like that? Come to think of it I can't imagine many grown men how would turn up their nose at that life.

It's the American Dream. But life had other plans in store for me, and I am not a cowboy. I don't rope or ride or carry a six shooter. But the cowboys of the silver screen are still some of my favorite heroes.

Last year for Christmas my buddy Greg sent me a copy of Cowboy Values by James P. Owen. It's a great book. I was thinking about that book the other day and it dawned on me that I am not John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, or any of the formidable men whom they portrayed. In the spectrum of Cowboys I'm probably more of a Hoss Cartwright. At first that thought bothered me a little bit. Hoss was a supporting character with a goofy hat. He never really end up with the respect that some of the other Cartwrights enjoyed.

But then it dawned on me that Hoss might have been the best of cowboys. He lived by a code of honor. He seemed to enjoy life, love his family, and treat people with respect. Don't get me wrong, if someone was messing with Pa, Joe, or Hop Sing Old Hoss could be mean in a fight. But he was more likely to beat the snot out of you, then help you up and buy you a beer.

That's the kind of cowboy I'd be. Like Hoss. Maybe not as tough and scary as the Duke, but that's ok. It takes all kinds of cowboys to make up the Wild West.

Finite Resources

It is fitting that this is posted on 3.14.11 – or Pi Day if you happen to run in mathematics circles. While most of my friends would rather celebrate PIE DAY, a number of my friends have acknowledged Pi Day via facebook or text. Pi or "π," which holds an approximate numeric value of 3.14159265… drifts off into in to an incalculable number of decimal places beyond those used in normal calculation (several billion at last count).

Recently it’s come to my attention that many of us view the world in terms of Pi colored lenses. That is to say we view the world in as having endless resources and possibilities. While we may believe that if we want something bad enough it will be there. The reality is that like Pi eventually the numbers will run out.

We seem to always be in search of more.
More money
More benefits
More security
More promotion
More status
More car
More stuff
More travel
More vacation
More weekend
More energy
More muscle
More time

Our workplaces demand more:
More sales
More contacts
More results
More phone calls
More hours
More access to you (thank you smart phones)
More profits
More growth

When is there ever enough?

Eventually the bubble will burst. Our company, culture, or community will reach a saturation point when there is not enough. Eventually we will have no more.

When that time comes where will we stand?

Instead of simply focusing on growth, we must adopt a mindset that allows for sustainability. Natural resources, social security, and job security for teachers are all examples of social fixtures that many assumed would always be there, like the number of decimal places of Pi drifting through eternity. The sad reality of the past decade has only reinforced that the things too are finite.

Perhaps we should focus on “enough.”

This is not a call for mediocrity or laziness, rather a call to right thinking. If your work continues to ask you to do more without providing additional resources or benefits – eventually one burns out. If every new driver in America needs to have a gas guzzling SUV—the cost of fuel skyrockets and eventually the fossil fuels run out. If every newly wed couple goes into debt buying a house big enough for a family of eight then defaults on the loan– eventually the credit rates for all pay the price.

The point here is not that growth is bad. Rather, growth must be cultivated responsibly and reasonably in order to be sustainable. We must find balance. We must take a deep breath and focus on what is truly important.

We must find a point at which to sustain and maintain ourselves, because our resources of time, talent, and treasure are, unlike Pi, are not infinite.

The Hero Within

Growing up I loved comic books. Beyond the great art and captivating storylines there was a great appeal in the worlds created by Stan Lee and his cohort. In comic books regular people became heroes. Nerds bitten by spiders, orphaned superhumans, and victims of great wrongs all choose to rise above their plight to become heroes.

With few exceptions every superhero/heroine lived two lives: one as a superhero and another as a “regular person.” Often time’s conflicts arise when the two lives clashed, drawing out greater drama. While I have not actively followed any particular storyline for some 10 years or more I still occasionally stroll through the aisles at bookstores to peruse the shelves.

It dawned on me some time ago that many of us lead dual lives. While there is the person who we are each and every day there is another version of ourselves that lives deep down at the core of who we are. This is the version of ourselves that is perhaps the best, most confident, most put together incarnation of each of us. Often times, however, this part of us is held down by fear, doubt, and pressures from the outside world.

Each of us has a self and a super-self. The super-self never fumbles words, never misses a chance to stand for justice, and lives with no regret. This is true for all of us—including myself. There are times when Nick plays it safe instead of making the stand that I’m sure Super-Nick would have taken.

Over the years the distance between Nick and Super-Nick has closed as my confidence has grown and my skin has thickened – but there is still work to be done. I used to become frustrated by this journey, but it is in the journey that we learn the lessons and face the tests that can make us true heroes and heroines.

With each challenge we have the opportunity to become a little bit more like the person we want to be, the person we are truly meant to be. The goal, it seems, would be to unify these versions of ourselves or perhaps—over time—to allow the inner hero to emerge as the only version of who we are.

Let us stand for what is right, despite the possibility of ridicule.

Let us have the courage to speak truth, especially when it is not popular.

Let us be governed by a sense of honesty with ourselves and a commitment to do what you say you will do (DWYSYWD).

Let us become who we pretend to be in the deep dark places of our hearts and minds where fear, peer pressure, and the expectations of others hold no sway.

Let us become the people whom we are truly meant to be.

Secrets of the Puma Family

Working at one’s alma mater can sometimes be a challenge. The dual role as alumnus and employee is not always comfortable as the rose colored glasses often worn by alumni are tarnished by day to day drama that seems to be present in any workplace.

This weekend an unplanned reunion of the MOB at the 11:00 a.m. Mass in the College Chapel offered a gentle reminder to those present of the value of the Puma family. Just as the liturgical season of Advent calls us to pause and reflect upon the blessings of the past year and the gift of Christ’s birth, so too is it time to celebrate the Puma family.

No matter how ridiculous my student loan payments seem; no matter how many hours I spend working on Phonathon; no matter how frustrated students are with the quality of cafeteria food, at the end of the day we are all in this together. Whether alumni, faculty, current students, staff, coaches, sports fans, community members, or friends – we all have fond memories of SJC and the friendships made here.

Perfect harmony doesn’t exist in any family on Earth. But many families find ways to love and support one another all the same. Some might even go so far as to argue that the true measure of a strong family is the ability to celebrate each other despite the shortcomings. We do that at SJC.

Bennett Hall was old, musty, and lacked air conditioning – but it was our home. The equipment in our classrooms wasn’t always the most cutting edge—but we were instructed by professors, many of whom we call our friends. As staff we accept that some years we will go without raises—but experience true pride when our students (yes even if we don’t teach they are our students) graduate and become independent, productive, thoughtful members of society.

That’s the secret to the Puma family. That’s the gift of our founders, the Missionaries of the Precious Blood. We stick together, not because we all see eye to eye, but because we are bound by our shared experiences and use those experiences to celebrate our differences.