Change is Hard

Two months ago Katie and I, with the help of some amazing friends and family, relocated all of our worldly possessions from one side of the state to another.   New jobs and opportunities to be closer to family pried us away from SJC and our friends in Rensselaer.  A lot has changed since our move and times of change are often provide a good opportunity to reflect.  

Round 2 at SJC has been as every bit as educational and thought provoking as my first time in residence with the Pumas.  My friends, both old and new, renewed my faith in the good nature of people, and this time I was fortunate enough to share this with my wife…my best friend…chief advisor and hero.   

At SJC Katie learned to share my love of Puma-culture, she was able to be a part of a Kairos team, we made new friendships and strengthened old ones, and started to build our life together under the shadow of the twin towers.  Life was good. 

But change is a part of life.  

One of the things that I learned at SJC is that we must be true to ourselves and aware of what our minds and hearts tell us.  After four years on staff, it was time for me to move on again.  I was ready.  SJC was ready.  We just didn’t realize it until the change was happening.  When the opportunity to move to South Bend and serve Public Library opened up I knew that this was the right move for me.  I don’t know how I knew it, but some part of me knew that this was the right step. 

When I announced my plans to leave I was burdened with an odd mix of emotions ranging from excitement to guilt.  The guilt nagged at me.  Not because I really felt guilty, but because I was wondering why I felt guilt.  My departure was not wrong, but I felt compelled to play the part of the loyalist dragging my feet and grumbling about not really wanting to go.  In reality, I was simply conflicted.  Both feelings of excitement for new opportunities and regret at having to leave friends were both valid.

Do I miss my friends, Yes.  (every day)

Do I feel guilty for leaving, No. 

Change is hard.  Life is difficult, but does that make a new adventure less desirable? I don’t think so.  My last two months at the Library have been some of the most challenging and yet professionally rewarding that I have known.  It's been difficult, but I don't regret the move.  Paulo Coelho reminds us that our choices are “… real and true precisely because [they are] difficult.”

SJC is above all things, a school.  No school wants it’s students to remain stagnant.   The goal is to spend time in study and then move into a new role or level of awareness.  We celebrate that transition each Spring when students go forth and commence life. 

So I guess this was my second commencement from SJC. 

And it was another wild ride.