"In this world...you must be oh-so smart or oh-so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart.... I recommend pleasant. You may quote me." Elwood P. Dowd, "Harvey," 1950
(Note: I’ll continue on with the Blue Monday
series later, but this post seemed more timely.)
As I mentioned in my first
post of 2013, words only have power if they inspire actions – and I include new
ways of thinking as an action. One
of my 3 words for 2013 was guts,
and it’s the word that has been most on my mind recently. 2012 presented a few more challenges
than perhaps anyone had anticipated, but the darkness of struggle and suffering
is the most fertile ground for seeds of hope to take root.
Some years ago I heard a
quote while on retreat that has become a mantra of sorts for me this past
year. I believe the author is
Thomas Merton, and it is simply this: “God writes straight with crooked lines.”
This simple phrase has taken new
meaning at various stages over the past year. Each time it seems that I’ve arrived at a new understanding
something unexpected brings me to a deeper appreciation of the sentiment.
From my perspective, this
phrase embodies the idea of guts. Faith takes courage. If we are to have faith in God, in
life, in ourselves, and each other we must have the guts to live. We must acknowledge that life happens,
and events unfold that are out of our immediate control. Then the idea that we cannot always see
around the corners on our path (the crooked lines) becomes easier to
accept. Once we accept that there
are twists and turns in our road, it becomes a little bit easier to understand
that despite our fears there is forward motion.
That’s why life is about
the journey. That’s why life is a
process to be experienced. It is
through that process, as Bruce Lee explains, that we learn and grow. “Since life is an ever-evolving
process, one should flow in this process and discover how to actualize and
expand oneself.” And that’s the point - growth.
Real growth takes
guts.
Guts to take risks.
Guts to have faith.
Guts to act despite our
fears.
When we have the guts to
live, we become open to good things, unexpected things – and there we often find
joy.
As Lent comes to an end; as
we move forward along our path; as we encounter new people and experiences – let
us all recommit to having the guts to live our lives, to have faith in the
goodness of one another, and appreciate the crooked lines.
When
I was getting ready to go to college my cousin Steve took me on a road trip to
Chicago. That trip started a
tradition of mini-pilgrimages focused on good food and the Blues. For each subsequent trip a new Blues
Mix or Playlist was created specifically to introduce me to a new artist, song,
style or writer.
It
was on those trips that caught the Blues.
Building
on this newfound interest, my dad introduced me to Duke Tumatoe & The PowerTrio a local group with a great
sound. Then he shared his
collection of Kenny Wayne Shepard, Stevie Ray Vaughn, ZZ Top, Eric Clapton, and
B.B. King. Not all of these
are strictly Blues, but Dad helped me to see that they all influence one
another. Seeing this connection
helped me deepen my love of the genre.
Last
weekend, Steve and I continued the tradition after a long hiatus, and fell
right back into our pattern.
This time, however, I was able to contribute a little more to the
conversation as I’ve become a little better versed in the Blues than I was at
18.
One
of the songs, I heard for the first time this weekend was Soulshine, by Warren Haynes (Allman
Brothers Band and Gov’t Mule). This song has it all. Well written and performed with all of
the soul you’d expect from a performer of Haynes’ caliber. I think that’s what I love about
the Blues, the soul. It’s hard to
fake the feelings, the pain, the suffering. It’s hard to fake the Blues.
A
friend once asked how I could listen to all of that depressing music all the
time. The Blues aren’t really
about the dark and the sad. The
Blues talk about on pain and suffering, but often times the song is about
survival, making it through the pain and suffering of life. The Blues are about the hope for better days.
The
Blues are about the power of the soul to shine through the darkness. It’s about soulshine. Better than sunshine, better than
moonshine, and damn sure better than rain.
"Now you got to let your
soul shine,
Just like my daddy used
to say.
He used to say soulshine,
It's better than
sunshine,
It's better than
moonshine,
Damn sure better than
rain.
Yeah now people don't
mind,
We all get this way
sometime,
Got to let your soul
shine, shine till the break of day."
This is not a post
about James Taylor. This is a post
about Thursday. In the
AmeriCorps*NCCC world it’s Team Leader Thursday. Normally I wouldn’t devote an entire blog post something I
got from a Facebook post, but today it stuck with me.
I had a great Team
Leader (TL). Jen Karmels built our
team around the values of patience, flexibility, and a healthy sense of
humor. But it was her presence
that helped us become a highly functional and cohesive unit. When we suffered, she suffered. When we need a friend, a mentor, a ride
to the doctor or a swift kick to get us back on track, Jen was right
there. Even these many years later
and miles apart Jen remains a presence in our lives.
Author, poet and
Buddhist Monk, Thich Nhat Hanh says that, “the most precious gift we can offer
others is our presence.” In this
world of overburdened attention spans, jam packed schedules, and an addictive
tendency to try and do everything – we loose sight of this profound truth.
Earlier this
morning I learned that my teammate Rosa’s sister passed away last weekend. I cannot imagine the sense of loss that
their family must be going through.
But I know Rosa, and her parents.
I know that in the days and weeks to come they will be reflecting on the
good times they had with Ana. In
this context presence takes on an entirely new meaning and perhaps urgency. Presence is one of my 3 words for 2013, but being present is a practice that can be beneficial to all. So on this
Thursday, let us take a moment to be present to one another. Hug your kids, spend time with your
family, call a friend who you’ve been meaning to talk to for a while, take a risk and offer a kind word to a stranger. But do something to reach
out. In the end, it’s those
moments in which we are present for one another that stay with us.
"Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present" Master Oogway
This afternoon NPR aired a piece by Heidi Glenn called Losing Our Religion: the Growth of the‘Nones.’The long and short of
the piece is that more American’s are choosing to not identify with one of the
major established organized religions. My first reaction after reading the piece was,
“duh!” Followed closely, by the
urge to bury any fledgling ideas for this post in the shed out back and forget
about it.
However, one of my words for 2013 is guts, and we’re all
going to need some to have this conversation. Because that’s what I am convinced the Pew Study is
referencing, a national (and perhaps worldwide) conversation that involves the
entire human family.
“Religion is like a knife: you can
either use it to cut bread, or stick in someone's back.” Desmond Tutu
There is a bad taste in people’s mouth regarding religion. Leaders
of various organized religious groups turn out to be corrupt, dishonest,
selfish, dangerous, or worse and people lose faith. Too often religion is used for cutting down our opponents, rather than providing a common ground for dialogue. But religion is the human institution, made up of human
beings, and therefore subject to human flaws and shortcomings.
As one who is an active member of a traditional organized religion, I struggle when church scandals take place. I am saddened and frustrated when religious leaders make
statements, which I believe are counter to the accepting and forgiving spirit
of the faith. For these concerns there
are internal dialogues, which must be held to enact changes here too, but
that’s a topic for another post.
Please understand, that I’m not encouraging or justifying
why more people are walking away from religion. I believe that faith is a fundamental element for wholeness
and provides unique gifts and insights into the world. But in order to start talking about
solutions, we must identify some of the problems. After reading the NPR article and the Pew Research, there
are a couple of pieces that the authors missed.
People are tired. It’s been my experience that people are just tired of the perceived
judgment that comes along with most religion. Whether from official leadership or zealots down the pew,
most Westerners are done with petty judgments. And I can't say that I blame anyone who has reached this point.
Religions change at a glacial pace. Most major religions are struggling to
meet people where they are. Many
groups try to apply old models to a new generation of people who are used to a
user-centered instant update approach.
When they don’t find what they want, people walk. This attitude is not all that
dissimilar to the “lack of customer loyalty” cited in business
discussions. This capitalism of religion means that if a religion says something I
don’t like then I’ll go across the street to someone else.
People don’t need religion to function in society. The role of religion as a functional
element of daily life has diminished.
1,000 years ago your religion determined your worldview, but it also had
strong influence on where you lived, what profession you held, when you worked,
who you did business with, and served as a persons fundamental social and
cultural identity. The rise of
nationalism brought competition with religion for our loyalty, but even then
religion maintained influence. 100
years ago a person’s religious affiliation determined an individual’s place in
the community and their social circles.
Today, to many, religion is a checkbox on a form, a line on the online
bio, and a place you go for an hour a week. The schism between religion and secular aspects of our
life is so complete that a person can function without religion and notice very
little societal impact.
Religion, for all it's faults is not the faith. Religion is not the spirit of the movement.
Religion can (and often does) serve as the embodiment of the ideas of a faith tradition. When members of the Red Crescent or Magen David Adom bring relief to those in greatest need - religion becomes the hand of God. When Nuns, Brothers, Priests and ministers bring reconciliation, comfort, and healing into prisons and communities who have known violence - religion becomes the face of God. When groups from churches, temples, mosques, and synagogues reach out to the surrounding neighborhood to build community - religion becomes the family of God.
I think that if we all exercised a little more compassion
and understanding, that the major religions would have an easier time
connecting with people. All across
the board, we can all get a little better about meeting people where they
are. And if we do that, we may
just start seeing some progress.
This post really doesn’t answer the big questions, but I
hope it starts or continues or in some way benefits the conversation.
“I really feel that some people neglect and overlook
compassion because they associate it with religion. Of course, everyone is free
to choose whether they pay religion any regard, but to neglect compassion is a
mistake because it is the source of our own well-being.” The Dalai Lama
New Year’s resolutions have always seemed so fake to me. I am not sure that I know a single person who has set such a goal and stuck to it for the entire year. Life has a way of disrupting our schedules, injuries divert us from a workout program, and travel impedes our attempts to eat healthier. Pretty soon the resolution is out the window and it’s back to business as usual. To me, change has to be more organic in order to be lasting; because lets face it change is hard.
“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” Albert Einstein
Author/blogger Mitch Joel at “Six Pixels of Separation” turned me onto Chris Brogan’s practice of identifying “3 Words” for the year. These three words then serve as motivation and guidelines for all that you do during the year. Brogan, explains it like this, “In an effort to tell bigger stories, I've found that the concept of three words allows me to think in more dimensions about what I want to do with my life and it lets me apply lots of tangible goals instead of what most people do when they focus on just a finite task.”
Here goes nothing.
One of the dangers in posting goals like this online is that they are written down (pressure) and they are public (more pressure). Don’t get me wrong, not all pressure is bad, sometimes we do our very best work when being held accountable, but it’s pressure all the same. After two days of distilling a list, I am ready to unveil my list for this year.
My 3 words for 2013:
1. Simplify. While serving in AmeriCorps*NCCC, I learned to live with less. For months at a time my teams traveled with little more that what could fit in a red fire pack. Both physical and mental clutter detracts from my ability to live the life I want. There is just too much stuff getting in the way: At work there are papers and memos that need to be dealt with and filed or tossed. At home boxes full of old college papers and unassembled models make our office less of a workspace and more of a warehouse. Internally, there’s a great deal of mental noise, which impedes a persons ability to concentrate, pray, and focus. By trying to simplify there is an opportunity to do fewer (quantity) things better (quality).
2. Presence. When you get down to it, most of us are busy. So busy, in fact, that we often forget to enjoy life. I have been places and focused so much on taking pictures and journaling about the adventure that I nearly missed the experience. I live a few minutes drive from several family and friends, yet see them about as often as when I lived across the state. To be present, means to be mindful of where I am and what I am doing. To be present to those I am with, instead of thinking of all that “needs” to get done. To focus completely on the task at hand and resisting the urge to follow the squirrels of other ideas as they scamper across my train of thought.
3. Guts. I love this word. It reminds me of the action heroes from the 80’s and 90’s. They had guts. The pushed the limits and lived with the consequences. At least that’s how I remember them. Almost everyone falls into a routine, which can lead to complacency. It’s important to continually push the limits. Having gust means: taking risks; writing with courage; saying and doing what needs to be said and done because it is right. It means committing to something and not be ashamed of what we’ve committed to. Having guts means putting ourselves out there with honesty, compassion and faith. Faith in ourselves and faith that those who love us love us.
Game on.
I mentioned this exercise to a friend this afternoon who reminded me that three words are great, but only if they inspire action. Actions give words power, just as words can inspire powerful action. Regardless of which came first the relationship between words and action is essential to progress. Now that the words have been chosen, it’s time to act.
Last New Year's Eve, I wrote a
post called 2012: A Year of Hope,
and as the year comes to an end it’s time to take stock of where we are.
Hope is a funny thing. It
seems to shine the brightest when we can see and feel nothing but darkness.
This year, December 14th became a
day that will stand out for many. From some it will forever be the
anniversary of great tragedy and loss. The tremendous amount of pain and senseless
suffering associated with the Sandy Brook Elementary school shooting will
remain a scar on our national psyche for many years to come. In the wake of this massacre it might
be easy to believe that darkness has won.
But just hours after the tragic
events of the shootings in Newtown, Connecticut, two friends welcomed theirdaughter into the world. Two people who are kind and generous and loving
experienced, in an instant, their family, their love, their joy expand beyond
comprehension.
And so, hope enters the world.
If
we widen the scope, 2012 has not been an easy year by any account.There is plenty to be upset about.Our hurts seem to have multiplied. We are weary from extreme acts of senseless violence and a nasty campaign season. We are bitter from loss at the hands of hurricane Sandy and our in ability to recover fast enough. We are heartbroken, as good people who
want to work remain unemployed or under-employed.We are plugged
in, but seem to be farther from the people in our lives.We are surrounded by information and
entertainment, and often feel isolated, alone, and bored.
And
yet, we are still here.
AmeriCorps members, National Guard, and many others are still serving in the aftermath of Sandy. Teachers, parents, administrators, and local law enforcement across the country are working like never before to keep our kids safe. Children are being born, and growing up, and being loved by their families. People everywhere are starting to talk about being tired of the anger and violence that seems to be everywhere. Many of us are lucky to have family and friends close at hand, which is a bigger blessing than we regularly acknowledge.
Despite
the frustration and pain, the disappointment and loss – the great experiment
continues.
Like the phoenix hope often seems
to rise out of the ashes of disappointment, sorrow and suffering. St. Augustine believed this when he
penned the lines: “Hope has two beautiful
daughters. Their names are Anger and Courage; anger at the way things are, and
courage to see that they do not remain the way they are.”
This year may not have turned
out like any of us expected, but if we embrace anger towards that which is
wrong in the world and the courage to become an agent of change, then we will get things done in 2013.
Thus, hope lives on.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Sad, because of what happened today in CT.
Lucky to know so many who dedicate their lives to helping kids learn and making schools safe.
Proud that despite fears, concerns, frustrations and anger most of them will be back on the job on Monday.
