Confessions of an English Major – Re-Reading

I have stacks of books (not yet on shelves) that I have not read - yet.  A further list of some 150 titles lives on my phone in a file called “Books to Read,” and I periodically plunk away at the 100 Best Novels listing published by the Modern Library.   One might argue that I have no business re-reading any books.

I just can’t help it. 

Some books are as comforting as old friends or coming home after a long trip.  Familiar and reassuring, their pages turn with the easy knowledge that this story will turn out ok.  As bibliophiles we sometimes become very invested in the books we read often sharing the pain, frustration and anxiety of characters – or feeling it in their absence as the omniscient reader.  Reading new titles can be tiring.

A big part of what and why we read is left to personal preference, which I celebrate. And here is my general philosophy regarding the practice of re-reading. 

Sometimes I re-read to suss out deeper layers of meaning in a complicated plot line.  Often I return to a much-loved title break up other more strenuous reading.  Some books I read seasonally (LAMB, at least in part during Lent for the last several years).  Other books are just never far from my mind.  I think there are three or four print copies (not to mention two film copies) of The Hobbit at my house including one that rides around in my briefcase.  This last, in case there are a few moments to kill and I have nothing to read. (Yes, this is a concern in my life.) 

Mostly, I just like to re-read books that make me feel something. 

Why do you re-read?  

Here are some of my favorite re-reads:

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff Christ’s Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore

Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse

Chronicles of the Shadow War by Chris Claremont & George Lucas

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

On Writing by Stephen King

Recent titles I’m adding to the list:

Cuckoo’s Calling by Robert Galbrathe (aka J.K. Rowling)

Ghost Soldier’s by Hampton Sides

Kingdom of Ice by Hampton Sides

There and Back Again, and Again, and Again

I choose to embrace my geek side.   If that bothers you, it’s probably best to stop reading now.  It’s only going to get worse.

To date, I have read The Hobbit in excess of twenty-five times.  Each read brings out something different for me.  At first, it was just a great story with heroic characters.  Then in middle school, I saw myself as Bilbo Baggins – a pudgy, timid, character who had more to offer than anyone expected – including himself.   Through that lens the book became a tale of hope.  Each subsequent reading uncovered some new insight, pearl of wisdom or subtle humor that further endeared me to the story. 

Rereading the book in anticipation of the film release I discovered sympathy for the character of Thorin Oakenshield.  A leader vested with the responsibility of leading his people, yet a character in pain after suffering a great loss.  At his core, Thorin is driven by a desire for justice and a good heart.  His focus to look out for his company, his team, was so great that it almost led to their collective demise.  Tunnel vision that becomes attachment, which then crosses into obsession is not all that uncommon in how we operate in the professional setting.  Tolkien calls it the dragon sickness, now we mostly call it drive or ambition.  When infected by this sickness achieving the objective or completing the mission becomes our focus – at any cost.  Results matter more than methods. 

We are called to do more, to be more.  Completing checklists and accomplishing goals possess no more inherently “bad” qualities than does being rich or successful. It is in the pursuit of these objectives and conditions surrounding them, which brings the moral imperative into question. 

Author and Aikido Master, Terry Dobson addressed the roots of this problem in his book Aikido in Everyday Life. 

“There’s nothing wrong with winning, provided that what you are winning is a contest.  The problem…is that, over the years, we’ve let the win/lose frame of reference shift into areas of our lives that are not contests.   [We’ve] bought into an imaginary, arbitrary system where everything’s a contest and there are no ties—just sudden-death play-offs and a long walk to the showers.” 

Within the metaphor of The Hobbit, Thorin too was blinded by the prize.  His focus, his greed, ruined relationships and ultimately cost him his life – though not without an 11^th hour conversion.  Whether intentional or not, the story of the Dwarf-Kings mania speaks loudly as a cautionary tale. 

In our own professional lives it’s easy to let one more project, one more sale, one more case closed, one more patient served drag us deeper down the rabbit hole.  Not that any of these things are bad, but when their pursuit chokes out others aspects of our character, ethic and humanity then we really have a problem.  

Wha'cha Readin'?

The other day I ate lunch at an odd time, and ended up sitting with a co-worker whom I had never shared a meal with before.  Following the unwritten rule of Library socialization, my co-worker started the conversation by asking, “So, what kind of things do you read.” 

I love working in an environment where it’s just assumed that everyone is reading something. 

No matter how a person answers the above question, the power of reading never ceases to amaze me.  Whether a person reads for entertainment, enrichment, formal education, to escape or simply to pass the time, there are tremendous benefits gained.  Reflecting on my own childhood, experiences with my younger siblings, godchildren, and various adopted-nieces and nephews – the value of reading seems to become a fundamental to our development.

I am reminded of two of my favorite Einstein quotes:

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

Which leads to this natural conclusion.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

By reading we enter a world where we are able to push the boundaries of our experience.  In books (digital or print) we find knowledge, wisdom, and perspective.  There is danger there too, and risk.  But that's part of life.  Part of growing up.

I guess, this image says it all…

Yee-Haw, eh?

I always hoped that if I met a cowboy it would be someone like Sam Elliot. You know the reluctant hero from all those westerns, someone quiet, grizzled, and meaner than dirt to anyone who looked at him-except an old yellow dog who he’d love more than the bad guys he’d shoot. Well I haven’t met that guy yet (I still have high hopes), but I have met some cowboys. A few years ago I even met a Canadian Cowboy. My buddy Greg is everything it means to be a cowboy—I mean a real cowboy. Sure he lives on a farm with horses, drives a truck, and has a huge yellow dog, but he’s more than that. Greg is a cowboy at his core. He’s got guts and seems to have an unwavering compass that helps him stay the course and sift through some of life’s trickier twists.

Last year I received a book from Greg called, Cowboy Values by James P. Owen. The book is great and could have been written by Greg himself. In the book Owen takes a critical look at the culture of the American West and the role that the cowboy traditionally played in the formation of that society. Owens paints a beautiful picture of the American Spirit and idealizes in the image of the cowboy. In his examination of our staple heroic icon Owen identifies seven Cowboy Values that he says are fundamental to the cowboy way of life.

The one that I continue to return to is the very first value: courage.

When Greg sent me Cowboy Values I was at the very beginning of a new chapter in my life. New responsibilities and a fear of the unknown were heavy on my mind, and more than once Greg (and others) worked to help me keep things in perspective. But of all the advice I received during that time I continue to return to the lessons about courage in Cowboy Values.

Owen writes that Courage is not just something you either have or you don’t, like everything else it grows. It grows from:

• Acknowledging fear and confronting it head-on
• Accepting risk, change, and failure as part of life
• Persevering despite the odds
• Standing up for what we believe
• Enduring hardship and adversity without complaint
• Being willing to make tough choices
• Living the life we want

As I reflect on these pearls of wisdom I find myself staring in the face of my fearful youth. They all seem so simple and evident when written down in bullet point. Even know it’s hard not to think, “Well yeah, of course that’s what it means to have courage.” But putting words and thoughts into action is another matter entirely. Think about it – the 10 Commandments, the 8 Fold Path, the 5 Pillars of Islam, the Beatitudes, etc. are all simple lists of how we should live and yet the application of these divine bullet points have eluded humanity for ages.

And so here we are faced with bullet points.

Courage involves things that we want: guts, a label as tough and capable, and even sometimes fame and glory. On the other side of the proverbial coin courage also requires us to taunt our fears, flirt with hardship and adversity, and sometimes even accept failure. This side of the coin is not so easy for us to accept. But as Greg reminded me, without the risk of failure (and past failures) you’ll never be able to fully appreciate the great things that do happen.

I tend to take myself a little too seriously sometimes and add to that my general passion for life and what I think is right and wrong – and there’s a recipe for inner turmoil. At a time when my courage seemed to be faltering Greg reminded me in a no-nonsense way that life sometimes just sucked and there were only two things you could do about it – let it beat you down (the easy way) or keep on going (the right way). Put in such simple terms there really wasn’t much of a choice for me and I simply chuckled and kept going.

The courage, optimism, self-reliance, authenticity, honor, duty, and heart of the cowboy is an ideal that made the American west a place where heroes were real and people looked out for each other. These are all traits that each of us strive for in our daily lives and we need look no further than our shared culture to find examples of these values in action today.

When I married Katie last October Greg became family. It seemed so natural that this Canadian Cowboy would join the ranks of my heroes, a group made up of EMTs, nurses, soldiers, actors, firefighters, teachers, USAF pilots, AmeriCorps Members, plumbers, farmers, and many more. Without his advice, support, and the occasional kick in the ass I wouldn’t have weathered the storms so well. I don’t know if I can ever say thank you enough—but I can say that I’m a better person for having this Canadian Cowboy in my life.

I’m still holding out to meet Sam Elliot in a bar someday, but I guess that will have to wait.

http://www.cowboyethics.org/